sleep Q&A

{SOURCE}

I have been getting asked a lot of questions about sleep lately. Mostly how we got Addison into a routine & tips suggestions for establishing a routine for their own babies.

Brooke asked: 

"Hi Holly! Any tips for getting baby into a sleep schedule?"

Anonymous said:

"People told me about the love you would feel but boy is it amazing! It's def tiring. The lack of sleep is tough but all worth it. He is sleeping 4 hour stretches At night. Any tips a on sleep? I know u guys were great about getting her to bed and sleeping through the night."

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I certainly do not proclaim to be a "sleep expert" but I was fortunate to have gotten Addison into a healthy routine from the beginning & because of that she has always been a fantastic sleeper. All I can do is share what worked for us.

{I will preface all this by reminding you that every baby is different & responds differently, so what worked for us may not work for you.}

bedtime + routine:

The first few evenings we were home from the hospital Addison had a complete meltdown around 6:45pm.  The more stimulation she had between 6:00-6:30 pm, the worse the meltdown was.  Prior to becoming fussy she would yawn non-stop, rub her eyes, pull at her ears & kick her little legs in utter frustration.  When I would head upstairs to nurse her & put her to bed I couldn't figure out why she was so restless.  She was giving me clear cues that she was tired & not only were we ignoring them, but we were stimulating her more.  By the time I'd put her in her crib she was overtired & have trouble falling asleep.  Thankfully after about 4 nights of this, I figured out SHE was telling me she was ready for bed. I read a few articles on sleep habits in infants & decided that if it meant we had to sacrifice by having dinner at 5:30pm & plan our evenings in the beginning around a "bedtime routine" than it was worth it to have a baby that was a good sleeper.

For us establishing a routine began with Addison. We let HER lead the way & we followed her cues.
Philip & I established a "no visitor rule" after 6:00pm once we realized that this was her "wind down time".  It upset some friends & family members but we needed to do what was best for Addison & for our family.  We used the time from 6:00pm-7:00pm to give her time to settle down & begin establishing a bedtime routine.  Reducing stimulation before bed was extremely helpful.

 Our routine has changed as she has gotten older but here is what it looked like the first 8 weeks or so. (We didn't follow these exact times but it usually fell into this pattern.)

• 6:00-6:30 pm: Start winding down. 
• Sometimes it included a stroll through the neighborhood, listening to soothing music, tummy time, snuggling on the couch, etc.  It always meant no visitors.
• 6:30-6:45pm: walk around the downstairs turning off the lights in each room, saying good night to Hampton & heading upstairs for a bath.
• 6:45-7:00pm: close curtains in room (establishes night time), turning on heart beat monitor (white noise), dimming lights in room, dressing Addison for bed & swaddling her, bedtime story & rock.
• 7:00pm: nurse 
• 7:15-7:30pm: put her in her crib whether she was asleep or not. Most of the time she was dead asleep but sometimes she would fuss. In that case I would pick her up & console her, reassuring her that everything was okay & put her back into her crib.

When she would wake up in the middle of the night to nurse we kept lights soft & dim with minimal stimulation, teaching her that it was time to sleep & not play. I would whisper, use calm movements & continue to promote a restful environment. For the first 4 weeks she woke up about every 3 hours to nurse. By 6 weeks was only getting up 2 times per night & was sleeping through the night around 4 months when she hit the 10 lb mark & her circadian rhythm was beginning to emerge.

• 7:00-7:30am: Wake up, open curtains, turn off sound machine & begin our day.

Now we don't need the wind down time so her bedtime routine doesn't start until 7:00-7:30; although, walks/cuddling on the couch, reading books are almost a precursor to bath & bedtime.  

Consistency is key in establishing a routine. You have to do it & make modifications until it works, over & over & over again.

I have heard a lot of criticism for having an early bedtime for Addison & for establishing a routine.  People told me it was "unrealistic", that "she came into my life, I didn't come into hers", "she needs to learn to be adaptable", etc.  The bottom line is, I followed Addison's cues & in doing so, I have a wonderful nighttime sleeper & daytime napper.  I am not a believer of the "they came into my life philosophy" when it comes to sleep because infants require 18+ hours of sleep/day.  I think it's extremely selfish as a parent to constantly deprive your child of something they NEED (not want) for your own pleasure.  Life changes when you have a child & unfortunately some things cannot be business as usual.  Starting her bedtime routine early in the beginning required a little sacrifice in but is great now. Philip & I are appreciative of our alone/adult time after 7:30 pm.  She is adaptable & a trooper when we keep her out past her bedtime.  She usually falls asleep no matter where we are rather than having meltdown.

(She only slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 2 weeks then we moved her into her nursery)

naptime:

I learned early on that she couldn't make it more than 2 hours being awake without being fussy so I put her down for a nap about every 2 hours (before she showed signs of being tired), unless she fell asleep sooner.
Her curtains are open during the day during naps (to help establish daytime). I turn her heartbeat monitor on just as I do at night.  I also swaddled her for naps. She was swaddled until she was 6 months old & she was in a sleep sack until about 1 month ago when she could no longer be swaddled anymore. Swadding was huge for Addison.
In the beginning she took lots of naps which decreased to 3 naps/day & now she takes a morning nap & afternoon nap.  I put her to bed awake at 9:00 (unless she sleeps past 7:45 am) & she goes right to sleep. In the afternoon she goes down around 2:00pm. 


During the day I make sure that I provide lots of stimulation: singing, playing, talking. Now that she is older cruising, crawling, I make sure she gets all of her energy out that way she is ready for naps & bedtime.

For me the keys to helping Addison become a good sleeper were:

• establishing a bedtime routine from the very beginning (it will be much more challenging at 8 months old)
• being consistent
• reducing stimulation before bed
• keeping nighttime feeding stimulation to a minimum
• swaddling
• white noise
• daytime stimulation 
• learning the signs of when she was tired
• sleeping in her crib in her own room

Like I said, I am not a sleep expert, I am just sharing what worked for us. The bottom line is you have to do what works best for your life situation & family.  In order for your baby to be adaptable, YOU have to be willing to be adaptable. Sometimes something as simple as turning off the TV before you put the baby down or saying no to friends to a 6:30pm dinner is all it takes to get your baby down at a reasonable hour.  Doing it consistently for a short period time is all that it takes to establish a routine.