socially induced insecurity

the plunge to parenthood is getting, real and scary and eiik wicked real & scary.

i am not sure if knowing we have 47 days give or take a few, that makes it all that more real & scary, or the overwhelming sense of unpreparedness that has over taken me again!

looking at our time line in days is quite overwhelming!!  i feel like we have SO much to finish.

i am going to do a massive overhaul of the house in the next few days.  i am off for 5 days after thursday so i should have plenty of time to get things accomplished.

i'll give it one last go then we are planning on hiring a cleaning company to come in a couple weeks before addison is due to get the house squeaky clean.

the nursery is almost complete but not quite finished. the window bench is installed/painted.  really all we have left is hanging the pictures on the walls, hanging a shelf & finding the perfect spot for our custom chair....oh the custom chair we ordered march 26th & still haven't received. we are still waiting on confirmation of shipment for the glider rocker.  we got an update yesterday & it is scheduled to ship friday (supposedly...we have been hearing this for 3 weeks past the date we were supposed to receive it). as soon as the chair is in the room & pictures are up, i will post a complete nursery update.

i am packing my hospital bag this week...another big, "oh my gosh", she is going to be here really soon task.

this week my travel radius is reduced. i have a fear of going into labor in an unknown place & being away from everything that makes me feel safe & comfortable. i am at a point where i really don't want to travel more than an hour away (probably irrational, but it is what it is).  philip & i actually started planning our trip to hawaii in the spring with addison.

another reality check that addison will be here soon is that when people ask when i am due, we can say "next month." it's funny because i think we have said "we are going to be parents next month" a thousand times.  philip usually completes the statement by saying "yikes". 

in all seriousness we are anxious & excited....although the recent news of the 16 lb baby born in texas doesn't ease any of my labor fears, lol.

on a side note: i guess now that i am obviously pregnant people feel like it's okay to be obnoxious & ask totally inappropriate questions & make the much-lamented comments that pregnant women "love", <insert sarcasm here>.

despite the fact that i have only gained 17 lbs & have 6 weeks to go, totally within the normal range of weight gain during pregnancy (actually under what my OB projected for my pre-pregnancy weight), i can't tell you how many times i have heard  “Are you really going to make it to august? you look huge!”

Question: When is it OK to tell a woman that? Ever? 

over the weekend a total stranger asked “are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” Haha … ha, hilarious!

addison's gender is suddenly in question because people looooooove to tell me "there is no way you are carrying a girl, you are carrying so low. you just wait until you deliver & it's a little boy." pretty sure there is no scientific evidence related to gender & how a women carries.

i am over the totally inappropriate people who think it's ok to touch my belly without asking...complete strangers. seriously. i actually respond now with "do you usually find it acceptable to touch a complete strangers belly." it's one thing to ask, or be a close friend & touch my belly, but come on....i thought touching a stranger was a NO NO.

Lately I have been getting the "i know you aren't supposed to ask, i wasn't going to say anything but congratulations, you look pregnant. how far along are you."I tell them when i am due & they say "they must have your due date wrong, there is no way you are 8 months.

Ahh....socially induced insecurity at it's finest.

we are really excited though & i love talking about addison. i have learned a lot of patience in dealing with the awkwardness of people's lack of social skills. mostly people are positive & encouraging & it's easy to blow off the ignorant ones.  

i am sure in less than 47 days, when she is born a whole new set of people will come out of the woodwork.