pictures from beach

remaining days

the remaining days were MUCH better & she gave us confidence that she will be fine on the trip to New England.  the first day we are there might be a little challenging while she adjusts but to be honest, i think i am the one that will have a hard time, not Addison.  this trial was most definitely a success, however, it is a much smaller car ride.  nonetheless, we will all be ok.

trial "long" car ride

Well, we did it...sort of.  We had a trial "long" car ride to Myrtle Beach, SC yesterday & are staying until Saturday. Typically it's approximately a 3 hour trip but it took us about 3 hours & 45 minutes.  We stopped 2 times for Addison to nurse which is NOT typical for her 2-3 hour feeding pattern.  She is going through a little growth spurt right now & I am crossing my fingers she is back to her usual feeding pattern by the time we head to New England next week.  Despite eating twice she wasn't fussy & slept the rest of the time.

We are going to leave for New England around 2 am because she goes 3-4 hours at night & the excessive sleeping in the car shouldn't effect her sleep/wake pattern.  We are stopping 1/2 way so each car ride stretch will only be 6 hours-ish. When we got here she stayed awake & was extremely good & not fussy for about 2 1/2 hours.  That is a long wakeful period for a 3 week old so naturally as her little peepers got heavy she fought sleep.  When this girl gets mad...SHE GETS MAD (like mother like daughter?)! She then cluster fed & nursed every hour which upset her stomach because she was getting too much foremilk.  Finally after some help from gripe water (thanks Tiff) she was back to normal & did much better than I expected through the night.  She is totally back to normal this morning...fingers crossed. We'll see how day 2 goes...wish me luck.

A New Leash On Life

When we brought Hamp (Hampton) home the hole left by Winston's tragic death was partially filled. Of course he couldn't replace Winston but the companionship & love that we shared with Winston was back. I vowed to always protect him & love him. I cherished my nights off & the time he'd spent cuddled up on the couch with me, nestling his warm little body in my shoulder...like a sweet little baby.  He was IS my sweet little baby. He, as Winston did, went every where with us.  If he wasn't able to come with us, we'd anxiously text "Uncle" Chaz, his "babysitter" & "Oh & Ah" over text messaged pictures reassuring us that he was okay.

As my belly grew so did my perspective & I began struggling with the "baby of the family" going from 4 legs to 2.  I had this guilt I'd lose my special bond with Hampton & he'd grow to resent me & Addison. People constantly said "you just wait...he'll go from cute & cuddly to annoying.", "we had to get rid of our dog when the baby was born", "you say he's not an outdoor dog now...".  That would echo inside my head during my last trimester as Hampton barked at the television or required a chase around the house before he'd get into his bed at night.  Incessantly sweeping his hair went from being just part of life to raising concern on how that would be when Addison came.  I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sit & relax around him with Addison & that our lives would become separate.


With a HUGE sigh of relief 19 days have gone by & I've realized that Hampton wasn't my practice baby.  Although he has 4 legs & isn't a real baby...he is such a HUGE part of our family.  Addison probably won't know Hampton as "doggie" but as "brother" because that is what we call him.  He taught us the importance of consistency, abiding love & patience...things that have been so important with his "sister's" arrival.


My fears have been completely put to rest...He LOVES his sister & she is completely enamored with him.  They just stare at each other in the sweetest way...it melts my heart.  I have become even more anal about sweeping & do get slightly more annoyed chasing him to put him in his bed but my love for him hasn't changed.  He usually sits at my feet wherever I am & looks around the house for Addison when he can't find her.  He tries to jump up if you are standing holding her & if you are sitting down he snuggles up beside you after giving her a few little kisses on her toes. 

bare with the poor quality of the photos.  they were from my iphone & Hamp was a moving target:

adjusting

addison & i are getting used to philip being back to work. we are starting to settle into a little routine & i totally have developed a "you can do it" attitude. i am actually going to venture out with her 1 day next week for a little while to meet a friend for lunch. accomplishing things is becoming much easier. maybe because i am becoming a pro using 1 hand?!?! :)

we have a busy couple of weeks ahead of us.  addison & i are going to SC with philip next week for a few days while chaz stays with hampton.  the following week we are going to new england for my cousin alyson's wedding...i can't wait.  i am hopeful addison will tolerate the car ride well, SC is a mini test run.

i am really liking stay at home mommyhood.  it's hard to believe i only have 10 more weeks left of maternity leave. i am trying to enjoy every moment...even the fussy ones.

uterine atony

it's been a crazy/scary 24 hours.  yesterday i started having heavy bright red bleeding with large clots & a significant amount of pain.  i blew it off throughout the day thinking i was being "too much of a nurse" & reading too far into it.  several doses of tylenol & ibuprofen (which i hadn't taken since day 2 of being home) later & persistent pain/bleeding, i started to get a little worried. i talked to a nurse friend of mine who is 6 months postpartum to see if what i was experiencing was normal (i knew it wasn't) & prompting from her & philip led me to call the obgyn on call because it was after hours.  because i wasn't really symptomatic we decided to try 4 doses of methergine to help my uterus contract because he said it was probably uterine atony. if the bleeding seemed to decrease then i was to wait until the morning to be seen in the office. if the bleeding stayed the same or increased i was to go to the ER.
thankfully 3 doses of methergine helped & the bleeding dramatically decreased. i had an appointment this morning with an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't something more serious like retained placenta or other parts of conception. the ultrasound showed some blood but nothing serious & definitely no retained placenta.  my ob said that the atony & OVER ACTIVITY was probably the cause.  conclusion: rest, relax (ironic that i posted about this the other day), take it easy & take the last dose of methergine.

i guess it won't be so hard to just enjoy this beauty:

every girl needs a little animal print

These are WAY too cute not to share.  Thanks to our fantastically fashionable friend Jen & awesome husband Jarred, Addison owns her first item of animal print.  LOVE LOVE LOVE these little shoes & coordinating headband! Totally agree with Jen, every girl needs a little animal print in her wardrobe.

On a side note, Addison had her 2nd pediatrician appointment today.  She is growing like a weed...she gained 8 oz in a week! Today's weight 7 lb 10 oz.  She is still super petite...it looks like we will be in newborn clothing for a while.

zen?!?!

Oh, how life has changed over the last 11 days!?! The things Addison is teaching me...WOW!  Who would have ever thought such a tiny person so could teach me so much?!
We are were totally GO-GO-GO people...rush-aholics! You can't be with a newborn.
Before Addison I felt hyperactive, moving from one thing to another. I guess as a defense against boredom. Reflecting on that, although I got "a lot" accomplished, I don't think I was really enjoying what I was accomplishing. I'd get up, work out, eat breakfast, shower & start checking marks off my tasks.  I mean, I only worked 3  12 hour shifts a week....where did my other 4 days go, what was I spending my time on? 
I don't have a choice but to move more slowly now. Everything from me taking a shower, vacuuming,  to what time we can have visitors, is planned around Addison's needs. Everything is planned around her feedings, baths, naps, etc...whatever works best for HER.   During the day she eats about every 2 hours & right now she is going through a growth spurt so sometimes it's every 1-1.5 hours.  Yeah, I know..she is on the boob more than 1/2 the day I am awake!!! Even with pre-planning and anticipating her needs everything still takes longer to accomplish because they inevitably get interrupted.  I'm totally ok with that.  I can't even tell you the last time I watched a tv show (without falling asleep) or read my favorite blog...actually I can, the day before Addison was born. I am so distracted by Addison that in my down time I am finding myself starring at my beautiful daughter in complete awe and amazement that Philip & I created her...she is ours. She is also teaching me to be more attentive as I learn the sound of her different cries.  I am trying so hard to not read into things...especially as a nurse.  She is teaching me patience...haha, no explanation necessary.
She has undoubtedly taught me a kind of LOVE that I never dreamed I'd experience which is the most important. 

I have thought a whole lot about this "slowing down" thing.  It's sort of counter-intuitive. Slowing down actually helps give our full-attention to what we are doing...it makes us enjoy what we are doing & better at what we are doing.  I think it teaches us to notice more of what's around us.  We aren't just moving from task to task to task.  Thanks Addison!

she smiles like her daddy

i love that when she smiles she squeezes her eyes shut...just like her daddy. the highlight of my day...by far!  she doesn't make it hard to adjust being home at all....

addison's 1st photoshoot

Addison had her 1st photo shoot.  I've said this before & I will say it everytime...Emilee is AMAZINGLY GIFTED! I can't wait to see the rest.

Here is a sneak peak:

{Photo credit: EmileeBeth Photography}

www.facebook.com/emileebethphotography
www.emileebeth.com

resting in her Daddy's hands

she looks like a little nomad

she looks so peaceful

she is so content

36 weeks pregnant & 1 week postpartum (5 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight!!)

I was supposed to be induced today if Addison didn't come on her own...so glad that we were having pictures taken with our 1 week old sweet baby girl instead!

1st doctor's appointment

looking @ herself in the mirror while we waited for Dr. Johnson

she looks so tiny on the scale

Addison had her first dr's appointment yesterday & everything went great.  Birth weight was 7 lbs 4 oz.  The day we left the hospital she weighed 6 lb 14 oz.  She weighed 7 lb 2 oz yesterday. YAY!  They were very pleased with her weight gain since she is an exclusively breastfed baby.  She was content & such a good girl the entire visit...not one peep out of her :)

make these moments last forever

seriously...can i make these moments last forever? i am completely head over heels in love!! her smell is magical, her skin is sooooo soft & her tiny little fingers & toes are dainty & sweet.  i love her little lips, she has her daddy's lips, & how she opens her mouth in an "oooh" fashion when i talk to her.  she is perfect!


we have been home since saturday & things are going GREAT...soooo much better than i expected. i guess with all the horror stories people were telling me, i was prepared for the worst.
breast feeding...check. she is a little piggy & i am so thankful she mastered the latch the first go around. i can see how this could be daunting if it doesn't go well.  during the day she is eating every 2-2.5 hours & at night every 3-4. the first 2 nights we were home she cluster fed for about 2 hours after visitors left (thankfully it was still in the early evening) so we set limitations on how late people can come by. HORRAY, it worked the last 2 nights.
i am getting 6.5-8 hours of broken sleep. she only wakes me up if her diaper needs to be changed or she is hungry & those typically correlate.
philip has been I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E. i knew he was going to be an excellent dad but holy cow...he is amazing.  he loves skin to skin with her & every morning when we first wake up he shares that special time with her.  at night he gets up to help change diapers & after feedings has helped burp her & put her back down to sleep.  he is a master swaddler...who knew somebody could have so much fun wrapping a baby in a blanket, lol.
when she is awake she is super alert & LOVES when we sing to her & play music.  she was very responsive to music in the womb as well.  she has long fingers...philip is of course happy since that makes for a great piano player.
she LOVES to bounce.  i call it "going for a run". her whole body relaxes when i have her on her belly facing my chest & try to recreate the same bouncing motion she felt when i ran. i can't wait to be able to start running again & take her with me.  for now walks will do.

i love it...every single moment of it!

Addison's Birth Story

August 29th came & went. I kept thinking, "maybe she'll come September 1st", the original due date Carolina Conceptions gave me based on the date we did IUI.  Honestly, I REALLY just wanted her here...NOW! I wanted to have her out of my belly & in my arms. I wanted to meet this little girl I had grown to love so much. I wanted to kiss her, snuggle with her...I wanted to REALLY love her. Let's face it, 40 weeks is a long time!

I had my membranes stripped on Tuesday, August 30th.  I was pretty optimistic & had my fingers crossed that it was the "boost" my body needed to get things going.  I left that OB appointment 2 cm dilated, 100% effaced with Addison at station 0...maybe this was going to work?!? I stayed really active that evening hoping to help the process along. As the night went on I was becoming discouraged & knew that the 30th was not going to be the day.  I remember praying for peace before I went to sleep & continued to recite the scripture verses that had been popping up in my head for days.

The first thing I thought when I woke up the next morning was that God was in control, I actually blogged about it.
I went about my day normally...except I traded my 3 mile run in for a vigorous 3 mile walk, something felt different.  I had been having braxton hicks for a while & although they were strong they were nothing like the contractions I was having in the morning.  They had no pattern or consistency but the QUALITY had changed.
I met Tiff (one of my best friends) for lunch & continued having them.  I couldn't help but think, "maybe my body is trying to do something".  Our lunch conversation revolved around the possibility of today being the day, how could we not?!
After lunch I went for another long walk. I had to stop several times because the contractions were now accompanied with what I called "lightening crotch", a sharp/electrical, lightning sensation in my pelvic area, & a throbbing pain that started in the small of back & wrapped around to my belly.
Philip was playing golf so I called him when I got home from my walk & told him what was going on.  I told him we needed to go do something that would keep me active because I didn't want this to stop & I wanted to keep my mind off of "what if".
We headed to Carolina Pottery to walk around the outlets around 4:30. We walked around for about 30 min when we went into the Gap.  I squatted down to pick something up when, BAM, the strongest contraction I had ever had hit me. I looked at Philip, said "let's go eat, I think something is happening...tonight might be the night." What did we eat? Of course we ate Mexican, how cliche...bad Mexican (mucho mexico) at that.  I barely could finish my food because the contractions we coming so frequently. 
At this point I figured I was in the early stages of labor so I texted one of my close friends Shellie who is an L&D RN. She told me to keep active to keep the contractions coming. All throughout my pregnancy I hoped Shellie was working or in town when I went into labor because we really wanted her to be my L&D RN. She is exactly what I was going to need during labor (aside from Philip). This was her last night of work & she was leaving to go out of town early Friday morning...thank goodness She called me back & told me she had flexed the beginning part of her shift just in case she needed to be there with me through my labor because after talking to me earlier in the day she had a feeling this was the real deal.  We got home & walked until I didn't feel like I could anymore.  My body had been going through some other changes throughout the day (i'll spare the details) & with each contraction the changes continued.
Around 9:30 the contractions had me hunched over, grabbing anything close by. At this point I could anticipate them coming with "lightening crotch" & the low back pain.  As they got closer & closer together I suspected that I may have been leaking amniotic fluid with each contraction but it was so hard to tell because of everything else going on.  Once the contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 min for over an hour I called Shellie & told her I was going to call my OB & head to L&D.  She let me know she was on her way in.  I called my OB and he agreed it was time.
Philip called Chaz to come over & be with Hampton, we grabbed our stuff & headed to the hospital.
We got to Rex around 11. Shellie hooked me up to the monitor & my contractions were indeed 5-1-1, she checked me & I was BARELY 3 cm. WHAT?! how is that possible?  Shellie said it's called prodromal labor & people can do this for HOURS but she wasn't going to let me.  Like a drill sergeant (JK) she said "WALK...WALK until you can't walk anymore." So we did.  We walked & walked & walked & with every contraction we stopped I braced the wall, quietly gritted my teeth & swayed back & forth until the contraction passed.  Philip was AMAZING & would stand behind me, massage my low back & encouraged me by telling me how great I was doing & helping me breath through the pain. I am sure people were entertained. 1 hour 45 min later I was 4 cm...whoohoo progress!!
During this time I told Shellie that I thought I had been leaking fluid as we were walking & sure enough my water broke not too long after.
HOLY MOLY...it was on from there! The contractions immediately went from 5 minutes apart to 3 & were by far the most intense pain I have ever felt.  Shellie had us walk some more to ensure my contractions kept going because now that my water had broken there was no way we were going home & she didn't want me to end up on pitocin to keep labor going.  We walked so much & in the same area so much that Philip was able to figure out the distance...this became my motivation.  11 times around the circle in the pods was 1 mile & we counted each lap we made.  I continued finding corners & held on for dear life with every contraction.  I kept imaging whether or not Addison had hair, how big she was going to be & telling myself this would be over soon. My contractions were about 1 min to 30 seconds apart lasting over a min at this point & I couldn't do it anymore. We walked passed the nurses station & Philip said she's done, she can't do it anymore.

She hooked me back up to the monitor & told me Dr. Alvarez was on his way & that I could have an epidural now if I wanted one.  Dr. Alvarez came in & checked me & I was 6-7 cm.  WHOOHOO the walking worked!!  We waited for what seemed like an eternity for anesthesia to come & Shellie/Philip pressed down on my hips, rubbed my low back, massaged my shoulders & helped me breath & stay focused with each contraction.
I couldn't have a typical epidural due to my fentanyl allergy so my OB & anesthesia were working all the details out while I was hunched over the bed holding on to Shellie. (they wanted Philip to be sitting during the epidural) Instead of the regular epidural with marcaine & fentanyl, I had a marcaine epidural which is a local anesthetic...no pain meds.  Once the epidural was in & had taken effect Shellie suggested getting some rest. Philip kissed me on my forehead, said you made it, told me how proud of me he was & reclined in the chair.  Regardless of when I hit 10 cm, I had to wait until 6am to start pushing because we had to wait for my antibiotic to be in for 4 hours.  I was way too anxious & the reality that I was going to meet my daughter had finally set in. There was NO way I was sleeping. Shellie came in, pulled up a chair & we talked about the last 9 months, what was going to come & how thankful we were the walking kept my labor going. She told me that we were just waiting on the clock, I had probably been at 10 cm for a while & as soon as she could she was going to start laboring me. I honestly couldn't have made it through the night without her & Philip.
At 6 she set the bed up & I started pushing around 6:15.  After a couple pushes with contractions with Shellie she paged Dr. Alvarez & Addison was born at 6:47 am.
All in all my labor was about 6 hours & I pushed for a little over 30 min.


Everyone keeps asking Philip "how was she", "was she mean".  The answer is no.  I was quiet, hard for most people to believe I am sure.  I gritted my teeth through each contraction & pictured the face I had seen on ultrasounds.  I pictured myself running a marathon & focused on my breathing, just like I do when I go for a long run.  With each push I told myself "you can do this.  you get to meet your daughter" & I quietly pushed with every ounce of my being.

here are some pictures from both philip's iphone & our digital camera

leaving for the hospital (obviously in between a contraction)

philip's self portrait when we got to the hospital

getting settled into the room

i had no idea this was taken. stopping to grip the wall during a contraction

i had no idea this was taken, LOL. massaging my back during a really bad contraction

holding Addison for the 1st time

7 lb 4 oz  19 3/4 inches long

getting checked out by the nurses

proud daddy changing her first diaper

proud daddy

Dr. Alvarez & Addison

the most amazing nurse & friend anyone could ask for, Shellie

taking it all in

push present #1...the best kind

push present #2

questions answered

labor experience?
phenomenal...beginning to end. the marcaine epidural worked like a charm. i didn't feel groggy or drugged like iv pain medicine makes you feel.  i still had control of my legs & was able to participate in the labor process by holding & pulling my own legs.
i was blessed to have one of my support people as my RN as well.  shellie & philip were INCREDIBLE. my regular OB was on call that night & I had prayed he'd be the one to deliver addison.


how do you feel?
i feel fantastic.  i was up walking around the labor & delivery unit as soon as my epidural wore off & have been since.  i have only taken ibuprofen for pain since immediately after delivery. i feel rested, relaxed....i feel complete.

how much weight did you lose after birth? 
15 lbs as of 9/4/11


how much weight did you gain during pregnancy?
close to 25 lbs


are you breast feeding?
yes thanks to addison & a fabulous latch.  thankfully her 1st latch was correct & this has been smooth sailing

how is addison sleeping? 
GREAT! another thing we have been blessed with since day 1. she wakes up to eat every 3-4 hours 


how is hampton adjusting?
he loves her (we think).  he sniffs her and lays at our feet while we are holding her.  he doesn't bark when she cries & gets protective when other people hold her. 


where is she sleeping & what is she sleeping in?
right now she is sleeping in a pack & play in our room at night & in her crib during the day to ease with transition.





how long is your maternity leave?
12 weeks

update

lots of people have been asking me what happens to "my lovely lady bump" now that addison is here.  the answer is simple...a name change.  the whole reason why i blogged during my pregnancy was to keep my friends/family afar involved.  philip & i collectively came up with the name "some kind of love" because this indeed is...some kind of love.  there will be lots of changes to the blog over the next several days (when i have time to work on it).


i hope to be able to post addison's birth story tomorrow, as many of you have asked & i am excited to share. of course there will be lots of pictures!


we are totally LOVING the transition to parenthood.

she is finally here

addison grace tabor

born september 1, 2011 @ 6:47am

7 lb 4 oz 19 3/4 inches

{photographed by emilee beth photography}